Encyclopedroid Entry: Gigasphere

An entry about the moon Gigasphere as noted by an official Terra_Gov Encyclopedroid:

After a long and brutal campaign, the planet Babamun’s referendum for independence from the tyranny of Terra_Gov was over and the votes were in. Babamun was going to remove itself from under the oppressive council of Earth.

The leave campaign had won by a tremendous majority, 50.5% to 49.5%, and it was perfectly clear to everyone involved; It was the united will of all the people that Babamun should be an independent planet.

The situation had originally risen from the fact that Babamun’s neighbouring planet – the Terra_Gov run Uroporos – had suggested that Babamun be reclassified from a dwarf planet to a moon, given it’s small size and the fact that Babamun orbited Uroporos rather than the local system’s nearest sun.

Though some say this triggered events, many contest that it was more like the proverbial straw that broke the proverbial camel’s proverbial back. Proverbially that is.

Babamun had long been plagued with a steady stream of Uroporan worker migrants, who Uroporos insisted be allowed through the atmosphere in exchange for free and easy travel to Uroporos for work and leisure, as if the Uroporans had some Space_God-given right to decide where a Babamuni could or could not go!

Moreover, because Babamun was part of the intergalactic trade network due to it’s close ties with Uroporos, the Uroporans had the cheek to think they could impose their rules and regulations upon Babamun. They refused to acknowledge that, unlike every other member of the trade network and Uroporos itself, Babamun was a proud dwarf planet, and had the dignity of their unique heritage to uphold.

There was many a grievance aired during the campaign, with lies and treachery and fear-mongering from both sides of the argument. At one point the idea was voiced that perhaps a decision of this magnitude – which seemed to be very deeply mired in populism and appeals to fear and hatred – shouldn’t be left up to the Babamuni public, who were being whipped up into frenzied mobs.

This idea was drowned out by no less than 6 sets of protestors, each shouting “treason!” at the other 5.

When Article 50,000,000b of the Uroporan constitution was finally triggered, there were celebratory bonfires held across Babamun! Due to the number of riot-based arson cases, this was the first time in years that Babamun was united, in what the head of BIP (Babamun Independence Party) Independence Space_Day.

In an act of supreme patriotic overcompensation, Babamun was renamed Gigasphere. It was only after this that May-Bot of the Convervadroid Party put it’s plan into action.

It was, in the words of May-Bot, a “#FF0000, #FFFFFF and #0000FF Babexit”. Though some claimed this was vague, it soon became clear that the plan involved releasing inspiring and patriotic discoveries by Gigaspherian scientists.

Firstly, the Uroporan fear-mongers’ claims were wrong. Gigasphere did indeed orbit the sun and not Uroporos, it simply took a more spiralling route which happened to mean that Gigasphere literally ran rings around the slower Uroporos.

Secondly, to dispel another piece of Uroporan fake news, Gigasphere was not small. It was just far away.

Before journalists present at the announcement could interject, May-Bot made the announcement that by the end of the year Uroporos would be orbiting Gigasphere and Gigasphere itself would be 5 times it’s former size, now that the surface of the planet wasn’t being weighed down by all the immigrants.

There is, as of yet, no news about changes in Gigaspherian orbit. However, the planet has, in areas, changed size. Several small counties have disappeared into sinkholes caused by excessive, vigorous and patriotic fracking, which is needed to bolster the already powerful Gigaspherian economy.


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